I’m facing him again;

He’s some centimeters away from me …

I can’t speak my mind.
I’m confused.
I like him but i can’t understand his feelings.
I’m confused.
I don’t want to destroy what we have now but i don’t think he values it.
I’m confused.

Every time i try to be honest, I put a fraud and gulp everything;
trying to be friendly;
trying not to scare him;
trying to understand him;
trying to be a buddy he can trust.

I’m afraid;
of ruining the moment.
I’m afraid;
of ruining our past.
I’m afraid;
to face his feelings.
I’m afraid;
of leaving him.

I’m facing him again, asking about nonsense.
He’s not comfortable, so I’ll just pretend I am
and try to convince myself he doesn’t know..


don’t let others define
your actions,
your emotions.
fate is manipulator of dreams..
don’t let yourself get fooled.
follow your dreams.

YOU and YOUR ACTIONS are the only ones who can accomplish them.
you’ve reached your limit they may say.
do YOU even know your limit?
did you give it your all?
Only one word;
Only one person;
Only one thought;
Only one goal;
may set your emotions and abilities on fire..
the process helps you understand your dream.


don’t let others define YOU.

A Good Book.

Every time I finish reading a book I feel sad.
Like my relationship with someone is over; be that friendship or other.
Mixed feelings blossom; accomplishment, happiness, anxiety, sadness.
Until I start reading the next book.
I think that pretty much happens with real people too.
When a relationship doesn’t have any more pages for you to read;
I’m sorry to say that but; It’s over..
Letting you wonder if you gained something by reading it, or you just spent your time…
A good relationship such as a good book will always stay in your memory
and you’ll always compare it with the next that you’ll come upon…



Cold air, piercing through an empty, unmotivated soul.
What are you doing?
Where are you going?
Why are you standing still?

You are a soul in a body.
With a mind, feelings, emotions, senses.
But then again no.
You feel soulless… empty.

Your empty stare into the unknown,
Your light breathing almost nonexistent,
Your heartbeats like the mechanical sound of a ticking clock.

And the air continues piercing through your existence.
And you stand there; still, like a marble.
Getting old.. and colder.

The change of the weather,
The passing of time,
only visible on your skin and hair.. your appearance.

Marble. Cold and soulless.



Maybe not, but if it really is ..
Should I feel something?

I’ve been through similar situations in the past.
I’m not a child anymore; crying or throwing a tantrum over someone grabbing my toy and throwing it on the ground.

I’ve been through similar situations in the past.
With every step on the toy,
With every spit on the toy;
My heart gets stronger

and stronger

and stronger…

The sound echoes dull in the room.
The warm liquid droplets not running on my cheeks this time.
Instead, a smile curves on the once bitten lips.

“Told you.”


We. Never. Existed.

“What if we simply didn’t meet? If I was dead before you were born? Or what if at the same time you were living your whole life in China and I had never left Europe?

Our eyes never crossed. Our hands never touched. We never exchanged a word. We never made each other laugh nor cry. We never made sweet love nor woke up with our bodies tightly intertwined. We. Never. Existed. And we could, we really could become everything, true everything to each other. If we had just met.

So, why do you suffer so much when someone you love goes away? At least, you had your chance. Be grateful for it. You shared a moment, one night or a whole year, doesn’t matter. You. Were. Something. And it’s true what they say, everything we love we will leave behind.

But, what about all those friends & lovers we never met nor will ever meet? For them, I cry sometimes.”

—Ines Kotarac


When the sun shines bright,
sparkles on your hair can be seen.
Your shimmering eyes capture the light rays inside them;
As you open them you send them out again..

Your lips are like the forbidden fruit in this perfect garden called “your face”.
It is mature, inviting me to taste it..
but at the same time raw, as my feelings towards you.
Once I’ve felt the taste of it, everything will change.
And most importantly I will not be able to stop myself any more…
Your nose?
Aw that small gem, protected in the center of your beauty.
So precious and small, fragile and necessary for your existence..

This garden… this garden, I shall watch but never touch.
Carefully and attentively cover it within my two hands;
Water it with kisses and caresses;
Tender feelings surrounding it,
being the juice that will feed it’s growth.

Your light rays may be focused on someone else’s garden, but mine are yours;
Necessary for your garden to grow.
That is my pleasure and obligation.
I will pass on you my warmth, my sweet air breeze..

Let your fruit be touched softly by the right gentle wind, like a feather..
and your gem, caressed tenderly like the finest silk.

You are my sun behind the moon… an eclipse.